We hear often about how Facebook has changed the world that we live in, and how it has negatively impacted human relationships because no one communicates in person anymore. Of all of the bad things about Facebook: bullying, emotional affairs, its addictive qualities and more, this week I am thankful for the power of the tool to connect with someone suffering a devastating loss.
I opened my Facebook account two days ago to see a cryptic post from a friend who lives in Arizona and who I haven’t seen for years, since I lived and worked there. She said “my heart hurts.” Yesterday I opened my account to find another post explaining that her best friend, her lover, her one-year-old’s father had died the day before. There were hundreds of responses and messages on her wall expressing condolences. Throughout the day she posted photos of her husband with their child, and people continued to comment. Toward the end of the day she posted information on the Celebration of Life which will take place next week.
Although I haven’t commented on her wall yet, I’ve been thinking of my friend and I will get a card into the mail shortly letting her know that I care. I struggle with this type of thing because I struggle with the public nature of Facebook. I don’t post things that are very personal, probably because I’ve never wanted everyone to know my business. But this is different. Facebook has become such a part of life, that to me it seems natural to share such a life-altering event. And it is allowing those of us who aren’t physically there, and would not be on the short list to get notified of tragedies like this to support our friend.
Is this a new way to grieve? Facebook allows people to share pictures, thoughts, memories and dare I go so far as to suggest emotions? All at a very rapid speed. Is this immediate outpouring of support and reminiscing of times gone by via the internet going to take place of human interaction and funerals? I personally don’t think so – I think there will always be physical needs of the one left behind – seeing and placing the body or ashes somewhere meaningful and the human connection that comes from a hug or holding of a hand. But what Facebook does offer is a sort of scrapbook of life, a tangible way to show the grief that one is feeling, and the love we have for one another. I think Facebook is a great tool for working through grief.
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